


Innocence Lost

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awkward Sexual Situations, F/M, Loss of Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 11:28:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1426804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jake blurts out the most awkward proposal for sex you ever thought possible - even by the standards of awful teen comedies - you can't do anything but blink at him across the campfire. You’re taken so off-guard that instead of any coherent response, the only thing that you blurt out is, “Huh?!”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Innocence Lost

**Author's Note:**

> The premise of Jake & Roxy adventuring together in sburb is taken from [this tumblr post](http://gendersquare.tumblr.com/post/80460872060/sxizzor-t34lbloods-sxizzor-t34lbloods).
> 
> Thank you to deadcellredux and stunrunner for their input and edits.

When Jake blurts out the most awkward proposal for sex you ever thought possible - even by the standards of awful teen comedies - you can't do anything but blink at him across the campfire. You’re taken so off-guard that instead of any coherent response, the only thing that you blurt out is, “Huh?!”.

"Of course, only if you're comfortable with it!” he says quickly. He’s gripping his toasting fork tightly, holding it near the fire, apparently having forgotten that he never actually put another marshmallow on it. “Dirk's just hinted - alright, he’s outright said - that he'd like to ‘go further' in the carnal sense, and seeing as we're meeting up with them tomorrow..."

"You wanna know what you're doing so you don't mess it up with him?"

"Precisely!” Jake looks slightly relieved that he doesn’t have to say it himself.

You ignore the flurry of unpleasant emotions spinning in your stomach and look down to your own marshmallow in the fire. It’s browned and starting to bubble, so you pull the fork back and blow on it to cool it down. 

"Yeah but isn't that cheating?" Fuck this. The marshmallow is still too hot, but you pluck it off and start to toss it in your hand. You need a distraction.

"Well… Sort of? But I’m sure Dirk would understand, the pinnacle of logic that he is, haha! In discussing our future - which he's rather fond of, though he insists it's purely theoretical - he has mentioned the possibility of an open relationship. Something about if I needed it, for some long convoluted string of reasons that between you and me, I didn’t entire follow.” He shrugs, twirling the fork in his hand a few times before setting it aside. “Anyway, you're a gal, and he's a guy, so it's entirely different."

You shove the marshmallow into your mouth without a scrap of dignity. Biting into it, the magma-like guts beneath the crisp exterior burst out. It sears the roof of your mouth, but you flick your tongue against the mess a few times to appreciate the gooey, sweet marvel before swallowing. Unfortunately, once you finish, all you have accomplished is buying yourself a few seconds in exchange for a hurt mouth. The proposition still hangs there, Jake eagerly leaning forward and watching you keenly.

You glance upwards. The sky above LOMAX looks vast, a black ocean flecked with stars like bioluminescent fish. Beneath it, as far as the eye can see are dark hills, some covered with ruins, others naked but for their perfect grass. There's a gentle breeze, just enough to make you appreciate the cackling heat of the fire, but nowhere near enough to actually chill you. Under different circumstances, this could be beautiful. With someone else, this could be romantic.

But this is now and with Jake, and you're wiping a smudge of marshmallow off your face with the back of your hand while he watches with at least enough self-awareness to look uncertain. 

"Okay,” you reply, taking a deep breath. “I'm game."

"Really? That would be truly capital of you, but only if you’re really sure about it."

"Yeah, why not?"

You can think of more than a couple reasons why not, but none of them are exactly compelling. You've been stuck in this session for two months; who knows when - _if_ \- you'll actually get out of here. Your chances with Dirk are so tiny you couldn’t see them with a microscope, while Jake is actually here and wants you, even if his reason is shit. His green eyes glimmer in the campfire's light, and you think to yourself that you could do worse.

Besides, you don't want to die a virgin, and you certainly don't want to die having never been kissed. Your death isn’t imminent, but hey, anything could happen. You are also just kinda horny, and the thought of riding Jake while you rub your clit and keep a hand firmly over his ridiculous-sentiment-spewer of a mouth has its appeal.

Jake, however, just sits there stupidly. Right. It's Jake. For all his bravado, you've noticed he possesses an immense amount of hesitation when it comes to actually initiating things. You're always the one plotting out your route, contacting Jane and Dirk about your next rendezvous, charging into the pack of skeletons. More often than not, Jake seems to just be along for the ride, as much as he insists he loves adventure. 

But he brought this up, so he wants this, right?

"What, did you not actually want me to agree?” you ask, dropping your fork beside you with an exaggerated sigh. “C’mon, don't play mind games with me, Jake. That's part of why I’m hanging out with you instead of Dirk and Jane!" It was more their decision than yours, but you’re not gonna bring that up.

"Golly, no, that’s not the case at all! I darn-tootin’ want this, darn-tootin’ want _you_ ," Jake says, quickly adding, "for the reason you mentioned, obviously. I'm just pleasantly surprised by your enthusiasm as well."

"K, lesson number one for wooing ladies, gentlemen, or gentlefolk of various other identities - learn to actually identify enthusiasm."

"But I believe I've already wooed Dirk! Or he's wooed and courted me, more accurately, I suppose."

As Jake talks, you lift your right hand to your lips. It really doesn’t have much marshmallow sticking to it, but you make a show of licking and sucking away every stray bit of sugar, bringing your pointer finger fully into your mouth and pulling back, then thrusting it in a couple of times for good measure. To his credit, Jake's eyes widen slightly, and there's an uncertainty in his voice when he asks, "Is it really so sticky that it necessitates such treatment?" Maybe he isn't totally a lost cause.

You pull your finger out one last time with a wet pop.

"Yuuup, there’s no other possible treatment for this level of stickiness. Gotta bring out the big guns."

"Right-o." Jake’s still just sitting there, kinda hunched over now with his arms crossed and his elbows on his knees in a position that would look defensive if he wasn’t asking you to bend over and let him stick his dick in you. Nope, even with that it still looks kinda defensive - or more accurately, nervous.

You're a lot of things, but the sort of gal to do things half-assed you ain't. You get up and stride over to him, grabbing his hands and prying them away from where they’re nestled. He offers no resistance; his arms are limp in your grasp as you shove his legs down from their bent position to be flat against the ground.

You straddle him, circling your legs around his waist, and place your hands around your back. He wraps his arms around you, and you can tell immediately that he's used to someone bigger. To Dirk. You weirdly feel envious of them both, but you don't let it stop you from facing Jake, staring him in the eyes behind his thick glasses. His lips are parted, and his pupils are blown wide, dilated in what you hope is more than just reaction to the low light.

Hesitantly, he moves his lips towards you, but before you can close the gap, he pauses.

"You don't think Dirk would be upset about this wee bit of practice, do you?"

"He's your boyfriend; you’re the one who’s gotta figure out if he’s gonna be okay with you getting handsy with someone else," you reply with an eyeroll so severe it actually physically hurts. Better a headache from the eyeroll than from a headache from the task of analyzing Dirk’s reaction. Which probably won’t be as positive as Jake initially suggested. If Jake tells him.

Luckily, Jake barely notices your exasperation and completely misses your underlying bitterness.

"Well yes, but this is rather intimate, I'm realizing. So even though it’s practice -"

"Jake, ‘practice’ bullshit or not, we're gonna frick. That's pretty intimate. "

"I know, of course...” He looks patently uncomfortable and shifts slightly, his eyes nervously flicking away. “I’m just thinking ahead to what lies ahead and…”

“What?” you interrupt. “Do you want me to do it like a hooker and do everything but kiss you?” You stick your tongue out and waggle it at him. His cheeks darken as you pull it back in.

“What sort of uncouth scoundrel do you take me for? It’d be downright unsporting of me to place such a restraint on you.”

“Correct-o-mundo, it would be hella unsporting. So shut up and let me kiss you.”

“Alright then, haha, don’t mind me, I’ll just -”

You press your lips against his still-moving pair, because otherwise he probably won’t shut up until the cows come home or whatever sort of dumbass expression he would use. His lips are full and rough, definitely not as soft as yours, and noticeably chapped. He presses back against you, mouth opening and pushing his tongue into your mouth. You pull back slightly. It feels sloppy and weird more than romantic, but eh, could be worse. You don't let yourself be disappointed by that. No, the only thing you’re disappointed about this moment is that it’s not Dirk. Not that you ever had a shot at that anyway.

Jake moves forward, and practically swallows your lips with his. You know he's used to kissing someone else but geez, Dirk's mouth isn't that much bigger than yours. Is Dirk more aggressive? Nope, you can't dwell on this.

"Whoa, hang on there," you say, extricating your mouth from his.

"What, is something the matter? Did you want me to hurry things along? I had merely-"

"Nope, not that. It’s just that you gotta stop eating my face. Literally, like metaphorically is fine as long a you aren't taking it too seriously. But right now you are."

"I thought this was how it's done! Dirk always liked it like that. But perhaps I should be more sensitive with a lady such as yourself?"

You sigh, stomach twisting uncomfortably. Your hand slides down to squeeze his shoulder. "Can you zip it with the Dirk comparisons too?"

"I don't mean to be a bother and I certainly don't mean it negatively! It's just interesting."

Still, despite all your hints, Jake is clueless as to how you feel about Dirk. Obviously you never stated it outright since Jake’s an item with the object of your affection, but seriously, you think he would have picked up on it from at least one of your drunken rambles.

"Just don't, please?"

"Okay." He inhales and squeezes your waist. You look at him, your lips mere inches from his, and you're struck by an unexpected pang of desire. You want to kiss Jake English, and you want to do so in spite of his shitty kissing skills, and you want to do it for its own sake, not as a stand-in for anyone else. Not in this moment at least.

When he breathes out and moves in again, brushing his mouth against yours, your want only deepens. He's gentler this time, still clumsy, but more reserved. You use the opportunity to flick your tongue out against his upper lip, and to just enjoy the sensation of your mouth on his.

You press your chest against his as you two kiss, squeezing his shoulders as little sparks of desire flicker within you. Under your skirt, your panties are pressed right up against Jake’s crotch, and you can feel him starting to get hard. It sends a thrill through you, and you thrust your tongue into his mouth eagerly. As the moments stretch into minutes, your crotch starts to feel quite warm and you crave more.

You release him and break the kiss, grasping the bottom of your shirt. You yank it off and toss it on the ground beside you. Jake’s eyes widen as you grin and reach for his shirt too.

“Boy howdy, Roxy, you’re just raring to go!” He obediently lifts his arms though. You pull his shirt off and it joins yours on the ground.

Despite all your adventuring together, you've never seen him shirtless before and, well, he's not too bad. The dusting of hair on his chest fades as it heads south, only to return in spades at his bellybutton, forming a bold happy trail that disappears under the line of his shorts. His tummy is slightly rounded and he lacks the serious waist-hips distinction you possess. He looks masculine and handsome until you look back to his face and catch his deer-in-the-headlights look.

You reach around and unhook your bra. You smile coyly as you slide the straps down but Jake's eyes are definitely not fixed on your face as you reveal your breasts. When you shake it the rest of the way off and discard it, Jake starts to reach for one breast, then stops himself.

“You can touch me; I don’t have boobie dentata or anything weird like that.”

“Golly, Roxy, I had been so terribly concerned about that!” Jake throws his hands into the air and rolls his eyes. “Just how naive do you think I am?!”

“Uh, you sure you wanna know the answer to that?” You stick out your tongue at him, and he lowers his eyebrows and turns down the corners of his lips in exasperation. “Oh, come on,” you sigh before giving him a quick kiss that he doesn’t reciprocate.

“It’s not like you’re some wordly, highly experienced master of the erotic arts yourself!” he says, still visibly indignant. “Unless you and Jane have something that I haven’t picked up on, I know for a fact you’re less experienced than I am!”

“Yeah, but I’ve done my research!” You catch the look on his face. “No, Janey and I don’t have a thing. We’ve never done anything sexy, or even kissing. She’s cute, but she’s not my type, and I’m not hers either.”

“Right-o.” Jake seems completely unaware that _he’s_ Jane’s type, and you don’t have the heart to tell him. Shit, what would Jane think if she knew about this? What a double whammy. Jane has a crush on Jake still, and for all your rationalizations, you’re kinda sorta _maybe_ helping Jake cheat on Dirk. As much as you know it makes sense, you know Jane won’t see it that way. You feel sick deep in your stomach, and forget about the situation at hand until Jake tentatively grips your hips again.

“I should probably get off of you at this point, huh?” you say, trying to get back into the enthusiasm you had a few moments ago.

“I wasn’t going to suggest it, but if you’d like us to giddyup towards our destination, I reckon it’d be for the best!” No matter how many times you ask yourself rhetorical questions around him, Jake never seems to pick up on their true nature.

You unwrap your legs, stand up, and take a few steps back, away from the fire. It’s burning low and steady, so you’re not worried about leaving it unattended for a while longer. If you managed not to start any wildfires when the two of you were drinking together, you’re pretty sure it won’t be an issue while you’re doing the dirty. You just don’t want to accidentally whack your head on a toasting fork or a mug, nor roll around and end up too close to the flames.

As you sit again, the grass is wonderfully soft beneath you, lush and just dewy enough to feel fresh. Even better, Jake’s world, just like yours, has a complete lack of insects. No risk of creepy crawlies getting in on the action, so there’s nothing to stop you from enjoying the grass.

As Jake approaches, you lie back and shimmy out of your skirt. Modesty’s overrated and if he wants to get down to it then that makes two of you. When you slide out of your panties, there’s a slight damp patch on the crotch, an undeniable mark of your arousal.

He hovers awkwardly a step away from you, so you pull yourself back up to a sitting position again.

“What?”

“You’re as bare as the day you were born, that’s all!” Jake squeaks, his voice cracking amusingly.

“I wasn’t even born, dummy; we were all made in a lab. And yeah, we kinda need to have clothes off if we’re gonna frick.”

“Sure, but don’t you need a little more preparation before we fully engage?”

“I sure do,” you reply as you dig through your sylladex to grab a glove. When Jake stares at it blankly, you thrust it into his hand. “You’re using my back door, right? You’re gonna want this.”

You fish out the little bottle of lube you keep in your sylladex and hand it to him after he pulls on the glove. The look he gives you answers the question you were going to ask - _has he done any butt stuff with Dirk yet?_ \- and the answer is absolutely not.

“Pour some on your finger and rub it against me. Don’t shove it in right away; wait until I tell you I’m relaxed, mmk? If I get any indication that you’re going to break my butt, I’m noping the fuck out of this.”

“I know what to do,” Jake insists, taking the bottle from you. “I’ve researched the theory behind it, thank you very much! I simply haven’t put it into practice yet.”

“Uh huh. So you’ve watched porn of anal, but you’ve never actually diddled yourself.”

“Roxy!”

“What? You’re literally like five minutes away from shoving your dong up my ass; don’t act like it’s inapprop for me to comment on your porn and masturbation habits.”

“Oh, is this really going to take five minutes of foreplay?”

“Way more than five if you keep saying dumbass shit like that,” you reply, resisting the urge to smack yourself in the face with the palm of your hand. You briefly re-contemplate keeping your hand over his mouth to silence the huge moodkiller that is every other damn phrase he blurts out.

He’s still just holding the bottle, like he doesn’t know what to do. So much for having his “researched the theory” nonsense.

"C’mon, now's the part where you squirt some out and get to it." You pause. "I'd say that sounds dirty, but that's kinda the whole point."

Jake flips open the bottle's lid and squeezes a copious amount onto the tip of one gloved finger. Setting the bottle aside, he reaches in, and for a stupid fleeting second you wish he was aiming just a little bit higher. But no, you're prepping Jake for sex with Dirk, and Dirk does not have a pussy. Not to the best of your knowledge, at least.

You're jolted out of your dumb mental wandering by the icy feeling of lube on your ass. Jake tentatively rubs around the pucker before slipping into the center of it, spreading the slick, cold feeling all around. At least here you're thankful for his hesitation.

"You can start, ah -" For once in his life, Jake is actually a fraction ahead of you, gingerly pressing the tip of his finger in. His finger is thicker than yours, but not by a ton, and the angle is better than when you do it to yourself. It slides in easily and feels almost good as he gets a good distance in before pausing.

"Is this alright?” he inquires, holding still for a moment.

"Yeah, you got it. That's good."

Jake presses the tip of a second finger up against your ass, and you grab his elbow.

"Whoa there, cowboy; gimme a sec before you shove more up in there!"

"Oh, golly, sorry!" Jake bites his lip. "Err, is there something else I should do? Or should I just wait?”

"Pull it out and push it back in for a bit. Y'know? Just fingerfuck my ass."

Jake follows your instructions loyally, eventually getting the entire length of his finger in. It's nice, not too intense, though it'd be better with a vibrator on your other bits. You don't want to totally overwhelm the poor guy though. Plus, you remind yourself, this is for Jake's benefit, not yours.

Your eyelids flutter shut and you release Jake's arm to bring both your hands to your breasts, closing your fingertips around each nipple to pinch them gently. It makes your spine tingle pleasantly, the almost-but-not-quite-painful feeling, rough but not sadistic. You imagine Dirk as the one sitting between your legs, pumping a finger in and out of your ass. Maybe the ghost of a smirk would creep onto his lips as you gasped slightly and lifted your head off the ground enough to see your reflection in his shades.

"More," you exhale, tacking on a "please" after a moment.

"Does that mean you fancy another finger?" You never forgot it was Jake, but that doesn't mean you aren't a little disappointed when he breaks your brief fantasy. You sigh and open your eyes, at least having the consolation that Jake's not an awful second choice.

"Yeah."

True to your word, it only takes about five minutes before you're ready to move to the main course of this banquet of awkward virginity loss. Jake strips off the glove, then stands to remove his boots, socks, and his ludicrous little shorts. Underneath, he's wearing a shiny silver banana hammock, which doesn't do much to hide his erection. When you grin and shake your head at how ridiculous he looks, he bristles comically.

"Har har, what's so goshdarned hilarious to you?"

"Dude, you're wearing nothing but a man-thong. How is that not hilarious?"

"These undies are extremely practical, I'll have you know! Keeps my charlie browns from jostling around too much while I'm on the go!"

"K, I promise not to make fun of your banana hammock if you promise me you will never ever call your balls that again."

"I suppose that’s fair."

"... So are you gonna take it off?"

"Oh, yeah, of course." Jake shifts from one foot to the other as he strips out of them.

"Get over here," you say, more confidently than you feel. As he kneels back down, you grab a condom from your sylladex and shove it into his hand.

"Uh what's this for?"

"Seriously? It's a condom. It's for your dick."

"Yes, I know that!" He reddens. "But it's not like you can get pregnant from this, is it?" There's a touch of uncertainty creeping in as his voice rises into a question. 

"Nope and STDs aren't really a concern but I'm pretty sure you could still get an infection. I mean, it is my butt."

"Oh. Alright then."

At least he knows how to roll it on without too much trouble. Without him touching you at all, you start to feel a little bit cold, but you know it won’t be long until he’s inside of you. Jake English is about to fuck you in the ass, and you’re only a little bit apprehensive. You wouldn’t say you’re looking forward to it - not the dick in the butt part - but getting intimate with Jake is nice. In a strange way.

He _is_ attractive, the way you can see the veins and subtle muscle definition beneath the dark hair of his arms as he pours more lubricant on his cock. You don’t want this particular act so much as you want _him_. Well, you want _someone_ , you guess, if only to lose your virginity. The fact that it’s someone objectively hot is a plus. If you all die in here, at least you won’t go out some untouched maiden. Well, untouched by anyone but yourself. Masturbation doesn’t count, sadly.

Jake sets the bottle aside, grasps the base of himself, and presses the tip in. You unapologetically place your hands on his butt - pleasantly rounded and firm with just enough give to be squeezable - as you bend your knees to pull up your legs. You try to shift to give him a better angle to enter you, but there’s only so much you can do, and even moving at a glacial pace, it feels way less tolerable than the foreplay did. Well, his cock is a lot thicker than two of his fingers. You bite your lip as he inches in, digging your fingers into Jake’s hips. Yeah, you really need something on your clit. But wouldn’t that be kind of awkward?

He stays hard, despite the condom and minimal stimulation, so thank god for that, but on the other hand, it means you don’t have an excuse to stop. You grit your teeth, determined to do this, but he gets about halfway in before the pressure is so bad that you groan.

“K, this isn’t working,” you admit to yourself more so than to him.

“What?”

“No, like, sorry, I gotta stop.”

“I’m sorry!” Jake pulls the rest of the way out, gripping the base of his cock. He looks genuinely concerned, and you’re hit with a pang of something sappy that makes you lean up, place both your hands on his face, and give him a deep kiss.

“It’s fine. Let’s try another position, mmk?”

You pull yourself onto your hands and knees, facing away from Jake. He positions himself behind you and presses the tip of his cock against your ass again.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, we’re gonna fucking do this. Or do this fucking. Whatever. Just slide it back in slowly.”

He does just that, and you hiss as he presses in. It’s still a lot of pressure, but it doesn’t hurt at this angle. Still a fucking weird sensation though, and you realize that this is way less optimal for you to jill yourself. Well shit.

“Can you like, reach around and touch me?” you ask. For the first time, you feel your face growing warm, even as you rationalize it as a totally reasonable thing. It just feels more, what was the word he used earlier, _intimate_ , asking him like this.

“Absolutely, my lady.” It’s goofy, but you’re not gonna call him on it right now. Way more important is giving him direction. And he certainly is gonna need it, the way his hand’s clumsily groping your vulva.

“Up, right near the top - nope that’s too far, there, go back, yeah, gently, yeah there…” You let your voice trail off when he finds the right spot. He’s not nearly as good with his hands as you are, but you have three years of practice on yourself and he’s never touched a vulva before so you guess you should cut the guy some slack. It’s certainly enough to offer little shocks of pleasure with each haphazard stroke, transforming the feeling of his dick sinking into you from one of weird discomfort to one that’s good-weird.

Then he pulls most of the way out and thrusts back in, a little harder, and you’re again not sure if you can take it.

“More lube.”

“Sure thing, just give me a second here!”

But no, it takes Jake many, _many_ seconds to grope around in the grass to find the lube, and each of those seconds is one where his hand isn’t on your clit. It sucks, and you start to seriously wonder if you should roll back over when he apparently finds it judging by his triumphant, “Ah-HA, there’s the scoundrel!”

Jake pulls himself out the rest of the way, squeezes more lube onto his cock, and presses back into you. It definitely helps a little bit. His hand returns to your clit, and you gasp slightly in pleasure. He withdraws most of the way and pushes in again; the latter sensation is intense but at least somewhat erotic, though the former certainly isn’t. You close your eyes and Dirk briefly flits into your mind. It helps more than it should to imagine him as the one who’s entering you, the one who’s breathing heavily behind you. But Dirk’s fingers are longer and nimbler, and would be clad in gloves, not naked with chewed-down nail stubs, and that stupid detail ruins it for you.

“Jake, uh, not to be rude, but how much longer do you think this is gonna take?”

“While you have a delightful derriere, the condom feels quite tight so I’m afraid it might be a while. That’s alright with you?”

“Actually no, not really. Sorry.”

“Oh, of course. Well, um, I can just pull out then, I suppose. I mean we did cover the bases, didn’t we?”

“No, like, can you just find some way to hurry it up?” You’re starting to feel bad for even asking.

“It’s really alright. You’ve been such a good sport about this. I’d feel like a total nincompoop pushing you to continue with this when you aren’t enjoying yourself!”

“Yeah but if you’re having fun, whatever, I can deal, just not for a ton longer.”

Jake pulls out, and you bite your lip so as not to breathe a sigh of relief. You do hear his happy exhale when you hear the sound of plastic; he’s pulled off the condom. Surprisingly, he places a hand back around when he’s done, reaching for your clitoris again. He presses his body back against yours, and the tip of his cock teases up against your wet, actual-supposed-to-be-used-for-an-entrance before sliding between your slick buttocks.

“It’d be rude of me not to help you finish though, wouldn’t it?”

For once in his life, Jake English is being thoughtful. And at the weirdest - best? - possible time.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to give me a bit of guidance here, seeing as I’m used to a different set of parts,” he says as he rubs his thumb against your clit gently.

“Just keep doing that. Not too hard.” You slump down some, resting your cheek against the cool grass. You shudder slightly with each flick of his finger, and arousal coils within you. The sensation of his cock against your ass is pleasant as well, and you don’t miss how he slowly ruts against you and how heavily he’s breathing.

“Actually,” you say breathlessly, “could you stick a finger in me?”

“Yes indeedy!” Jake shifts his hips back and places a finger against your pucker.

“No, not back in there, I meant, yeah…” Thank goodness he slips down and rests his finger against the right spot instead. You’re soaking wet and completely out of fucks. “I want you inside of me, Jakey.” It sounds silly - stupid, really - but you mean it. You want _him_ inside of you, and you don’t know if it’s because you need someone or because you want him, but you don’t really care.

He slides a finger deep inside your cunt and, at your _Oh sweet fuck yes_ , pumps it in and out while continuing to work your clit. You’re overtaken with your blissful ascension towards orgasm. You have no sense of time, but you vaguely think it’s passing far too quickly.

 _Dirk_ is the first word that leaves your lips as you’re pushed over the edge and you shudder violently, cheek pressed against the ground, clawing at the grass. It comes out more as a groan than a cry, but _shit,_ you really hope Jake didn’t hear that. You say Jake’s name more loudly, several times in a row, and hope he didn’t hear the first one distinctly.

“Ouch, we’re done - I’m done, so stop please,” you say, wincing, when your orgasm flows away and Jake continues to thrust in and out and rub your clit. Fortunately, with your explicit instruction, he does cease. “Thanks.”

Jake pulls his finger out, but his dick is still flush against your ass.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m feeling rather close myself, so would you mind terribly if I…”

“Knock yourself out.”

Somewhat to your surprise, Jake doesn’t pull back and grip himself, but rather puts both hands on your hips and begins to thrust more vehemently between your asscheeks. You push aside the awareness that your elbows are starting to get sore and focus on Jake. It’s strange, but the heavy gasps from him are awesome. You even like the way his nails dig into your hips, and are starting to contemplate whether maybe you could get into a little bit of pain when Jake’s movements become markedly more erratic and desperate.

“Sweet heavens to Betsy!” he yells, and you’re seriously glad that you already finished because that would instantly kill off your lady boner for the rest of forever. “Oh, oh _God_ Roxy, you feel so good, Roxy, _Roxy_ …”

OK, you lied about the lady boner thing. Hearing Jake say your name like that as he ejaculates, hot and sticky against you, sends a jolt of yearning from your throat straight down to your groin. He slumps against you, resting his head on your back, and you slowly collapse. He’s still panting as you roll over and pull him close, resting your head against his chest, the hairs tickling your cheek. You close your eyes and the raw mix of thoughts and emotions and something suspiciously like regret brings on the very beginnings of tears.

 

~~~

 

When you and Jake reconvene three days later, his goofy smile is wide as ever. You ask how it went down, of course, but he insists with a wink that "Gentlemen don't kiss and tell."

GG: The needle on the Strider sulk-o-meter is safely back down into lime. Possibly even pure grass-green. I'll update you when I have a more accurate reading. It’s still wavering a bit.  
TG: wow thats better than weve seen it in a long time  
GG: Indeed! Usually he's bitching about how Jake wants to be rid of him way too quickly, but he's unusually terse about their brief visit.  
GG: Terse about that, but surprisingly chatty about everything else! And he’s actually smiling some of the time.  
GG: Maybe Dirk's starting to be okay with the long distance?  
GG: Or more likely, something happened with Jake, I’d say. But I wonder what...  
TG: mm who knows  
GG: You're usually much more curious than that!  
TG: eh shrug  
TG: starting to lose its voyeuristic appeal  
TG: becuz reasons  
GG: "Reasons"?  
TG: it was good to see u again though  
GG: Yes, it certainly was!  
GG: You know if you have anything you want to talk about, I'm here, right?  
TG: yeah duh  
TG: thx  
TG: sall good

**Author's Note:**

>  _Fuck yeah, give it to me_  
>  _This is heaven, what I truly want_  
>  _Is innocence lost_  
>  \- Lana Del Rey, _Gods & Monsters_


End file.
